Imagery on this page is subject to review by the Materials Desk and is provisional.
Tournament-Grade Shark™
Reports of the SHARK™ exhibiting behavior consistent with its design have not been substantiated. The matter remains open.
Description
The Tournament-Grade Shark™ (hereafter, “the SHARK™”) has completed its pre-release evaluation and is now available for civilian acquisition. The SHARK™ has been shaped from the outside inward. The fin has been reinforced at the request of Legal. The teeth are decorative, and also real.
Our Product Oversight team has conducted a final inspection and has declined to comment on the inspection.
Acquisition of the SHARK™ constitutes acknowledgment of the SHARK™.
Specifications
| Length | 92 in. |
|---|---|
| Color | Gray, with teeth |
| Intended use | Inflatable recreation |
| Unintended use | Under review |
| Weight capacity | Undisclosed |
| Pre-market incidents | Zero (0) confirmed |
| Post-market incidents | See “incidents” |
Care & Use
Approach the SHARK™ from an oblique angle. Inflation is performed by the end user, at the end user’s discretion, in the end user’s chosen location.
Do not leave the SHARK™ unattended in a pool containing other persons unless those persons have been informed. Storing the SHARK™ in enclosed spaces has been discouraged by our Fulfillment team, who asked to remain off the record.
In the event that the SHARK™ enters a state that could reasonably be described as “alert,” please vacate the pool area at a measured pace. Do not run. Do not make sudden movements. Do not attempt to negotiate.
Shipping & Returns
The SHARK™ ships in a reinforced outer container. Upon arrival, please inspect the container for indications of internal activity.
All sales are final. We do not, at this time, accept the SHARK™ back.
* Reports of the SHARK™ are catalogued by our Incident Liaison.
* The SHARK™ has not bitten anyone.
* The SHARK™ has not been asked.
* Not valid in the state of Nevada, for reasons.